There's a point in le Petit Prince where the boy is told that the reason the rose is important is because he believes it is important.
For me it was yellow tulips.
What one person thinks is beautiful or special, another person may not even notice. I believe that is the job of a creative. A songwriter, a poet, an artist, a romantic, a lover. Make us think. Make us have an opinion. Have a voice. And be touched by something.
Change is life.
Sometimes it's great. Sometimes it's tough and maybe will make sense later.
On April twenty-fourth, three years ago today, I was waiting on a friend of mine so we could head out to dinner together, when he showed up with yellow tulips.
I tripped. And fell.
Right in love.
I fell in love with a man who made me laugh, calmed me down, lifted me up, who brought me flowers, challenged me, inspired me, and made me brave. So many fun moments with him, his two kiddos, his friends, and just hanging out. That was the importance of those yellow tulips to me.
I remember one night he and I went to dinner in a little Chinese restaurant in DC to meet up with one of his college friends and her family. Really loved getting to chat with her. After dinner, the guys were already out front and we were slowly making our way out when she stopped and said, "Wendy, take care of him."
Relationships change. Be it love, or friends. Maybe people are just in different places in their lives. Or misunderstandings pop up that will take time and faith to work through.
How do you know when to hang on or when to let go?
Nostalgia can make that answer difficult. Hollywood movies can make it seem much too easy. Over time, I find it interesting — our decisions, and our focuses. And the impact they have not just on others, but us as well. And what it is that we choose give importance and credence to.
I subscribe to SARK's page, and this showed up the other day:
"If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it, and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
— Marcus Aurelius Antoninus
Funny thing about love, is that it lives absolutely in the present and sometimes in the future. Which is how we should live, anyway. But after you walk away from it, it's hard to not reflect back to moments that brought you such joy.
Now the tulips hold a different meaning for me.
A beautiful one.
While I did walk away from love last summer, I also found that I really loved being in love. Sharing life. I look forward to tripping and falling again some day. I believe it happens when we are just being ourselves and not looking. That's how I fell. Three years ago.
...and I'm so grateful I took the chance.
So, trip. Let yourself fall. Take a chance. Leap. Enjoy the ride. No regrets. But, then keep looking forward. Eyes open. Heart open.
Don't seek. But, find.
A different meaning.
©2012 Wendy Hudgins