Dissecting a frog. Ah, that scent of formaldehyde...
Oh wait. This is supposed to be a pretty, thoughtful, and insightful entry. Okay, grab some tea (and some time) for sixty, random thoughts. Here goes...
So, Wednesday morning it happened. I pulled a 'Wendy.' I needed to scram. To get lost. To discover. To uncover. To stop. To feel. To soak it in. To get it out. And to reflect. I am a 'wanderer' after all. And I never want a GPS system in my car. What's the fun in never getting lost?
I left here and headed to Assateauge Island, MD* to see the sun rise. It's a 3hr drive. And, um, do you know what time the sunrises?? 5:58am. You do the math. But I love a trip like this. No schedule. No expectations. And then it happened. A mental purge. Every thought I had, as random, profound, or mundane as it might be, came pouring out. Now I don't text while driving, but I do scribble thoughts in a notebook. And, at the risk of TMI, I've never done a colonic but this felt like the mental equivilant.
Like the innards of a frog,** if you could 'dissect' my mind and heart that day, here's what was inside. Seemingly disconnected and messy, somehow it all comes together to make up the creature it belongs to. Want the short version? Go to #25.
- A perfect send-off note received on FB. Thank you...
- Half asleep (it is 3am after all) when I saw a cop car on Hwy 50. It was like your mother sayin' (with a sweet old New York accent), "wear uh sweater, eatchure veggies, and don't drive too fast!" I was grateful to have had that cotton mouth, heart-in-your-stomach feeling you get when you [might be] driving too fast. The one that makes you slow down. Deep breath. Okay. I'm on board now.
- Moon reflecting over the Chesapeake Bay.
- Skipton Creek. Reminded me of my best friend's dad's name.
- A Nicole Nordeman song came on, thought of Rev. R.
- Driving in the dark, being led by the moon.
- I love the question, 'what kind of music do you listen to.' My answer is, 'whatever I'm in the mood for.' It's not a secret I'm a HUGE Prince fan (of COURSE LotusFlow3r was in th' car) but one of my current favorite songs just came on the radio, "Finally Home," by Mercy Me. LOVE IT!!
- Passed a Porsche dealership. Yum.
- Dawn is different than sunrise. The sky began a color chemistry experiment — seamlessly swishing all different beautiful shades of blue, indigo, robin's egg, midnight, turquoise, and blue topaz together.
- There's a really bright planet in the eastern sky. What is it? Jupiter is Sag's planet. Hmm.
- Fog, in the dark of morning.
- Sweet smell of cool, grassy fields.
- One single source of light [our star, the sun] can warm and illuminate. Clarify.
- Passing by an old cemetery as the morning light began. Life does end. Glad I made this trip today.
- Don't think I was 'looking' before, but am in a place to let someone into my life. Once you've cleared mental and physical space, there's room for others to enter.
- Am trying to move through my life like a labyrinth. Be where you are, Wendy. Don't rush. Don't anticipate.
- Thought up a new card I'll be creating.
- Always on the lookout for more freelance clients so I can continue doing what I'm doing. And SO grateful for my friends and colleagues who continue to send folks my way. I appreciate you more than you know.
- Laughing at the "Love Sucks" poem I google-stumbled on while looking for wise words on sunrises. It's funny. Hope I saved it somewhere...
- Arrived. Parked my car.
- Couldn't see because of the dunes, but could hear the waves crashing.
- Chilly breeze by the ocean.
- Walked slowly through the sand toward the 'why I made this trip in the first place.'
- Me. A camera. And the Atlantic Ocean at sunrise.
- Then without alarm bells or any fuss, and only for those patient people paying close attention. A hot pink sliver of the source that, even before it appeared, had already begun to light up the whole sky.
- It's up. The day has begun.
- Waves lapping quietly and gently over the cool sands of this vast, empty, and beautiful beach.
- Yes. Mid-week, early May is an EXCELLENT time to see a quiet sunrise.
- Rested, even fell asleep on a huge towel on the sand with Copper nearby. The warm sun. The cool sand. The sound and the rhythm of the ocean waves.
- Saw wild horses near the beach. It reminded me of Camargue, in the south of France.
- Wanted to stay all day, but traffic on the beltway dictates your travel times around here. Plus, I knew I still needed time to observe and wander on the way back...
- Then, just like the sun coming above the horizon without warning, I knew it was time for me to head on.
- Was in my car and on my way.
- Drove through Berlin, MD. Cute old town.
- The sweet smell of grassy fields is intoxicating.
- Sixty Ft. Rd.
- Rockawalkin Rd.
- Oooooh. I have a great idea for big old tree stumps. Design a sort-of 'cap' for the stump that has a tabletop on it. Then pull up a chair, some lemonade, some BBQ, some friends. Nice!
- Farm houses in large fields have one huge, beautiful shade tree near them.
- Chicken feathers blowing on the highway from two trucks up.
- A phone booth? Really? On the side of Hwy 50. How quaint.
- Two tire swings hanging from two magnificent old tall trees.
- Tree-lined driveways to old beautiful homes.
- Today was about filling up.
- Continue to be 'you' no matter who or what comes in or goes out of your life.
- Old Amoco stations, the original ones, had weather vanes on top of them.
- Bob Smith Chevrolet (looks like it's been there since Chevy first began) is closed. Vacated. Sad.
- Turned my head to look out my window (while driving) to see a red falcon chasing another little bird in flight. Um, HELLO WENDY, you're DRIVING!! Yikes. That one scared me. Like 'cop-car' scared me. My curiosity could have made this trip end badly.
- St. Peter's Church. Looks old... has historic marker. Will have to google it when I'm home.
- I was totally born in the right time. Internet for all my inquistive questions. Love it! Don't know if I was one of those 4 year olds that constantly asked, "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?" But I certainly ask it a lot now.
- People seriously do NOT know how to drive. If you are going to pass me, is it really necessary that you climb up my tailpipe FIRST, and THEN move to my left? Also, blinkers are [as Martha would say] good things! Use them. It's consideration for the folks around you. And on the slow side roads when I slow down and pull to the right and wave my hand for you to pass me — do it. I'm not going to make you suffer for my need to sight-see. I know you have places to go. So pass me, already...
- An Exxon had shut down. The covered-up price for reg. unleaded was listed as $1.57.
- Woman kneeling at a makeshift roadside memorial. I've never actually seen someone at one of those. My heart ached for her. My throat clenched a little. A reminder to LIVE life. DO your bucket list, or whatever. We will circle back to 'where we came from' but it won't be by way of the same road. And we can't 'undo.'
- 'Live' is the verb to 'life.' So do it.
- On WAMU on the radio on the drive back, VERY funny and enlightening talk about a new book, "One Nation Under Dog." Anti-depressants for dogs with separation anxiety. Q: Do they differ from the human version? A: Yes, they're beef-flavored. Ha! Love it.
- Regarding dogs in the home life of Americans over time: Once they stayed outdoors, but now that they are indoors and often on couches and in beds, it's no wonder the grooming business is booming!
- I'm not a big BMW person, but the 328i is pretty nice.
- Van for a contractor had a great name on the side for their DC-based business, "Counter Intelligence."
- "So amazed at what I've seen — so much more than this ol' mind can hold. When I finally make it home." (See #7)
- So overwhelmingly grateful for life. For my crazy past, my mysterious present, and whatever the future has up it's sleeve as well. I'm re-fueled and ready. Bring it!
* Huge thanks to my friend Michelle for her recommendation. It was perfect. Thank you.
** Were you expecting a big, soothing, inspiring, sage-like, life-answering, revelation of a reveal from this trip to the sunrise? Me too. But I got 60 random observations instead. And I refuse to edit for the purpose of conforming. Even if to my or others' expectations and anticipations. But like I say, "Seemingly disconnected and messy, somehow it all comes together to make up the creature it belongs to." I believe that even the things that don't make sense in our lives have a purpose.
PHOTO ©2009 Wendy Hudgins