T W E N T Y - S I X - L E T T E R S
"this holiday I hope we all have a little peace on our little earth"
Inspiration. Creativity. Life.
Each comes and goes in it's own sweet time. I bend toward making cards more than buying them. I love making cards and gifts. But this year, I didn't have a 'creative spark' till about two days before Christmas Eve, so only these two cards [ ABOVE ] were sent. Had I had this inspiration a bit sooner, please consider the above to be the card that might have landed in your mailbox. I adore the cards I receive each year. It is always so good to see photos and get so many warm wishes, and funny cards — superkeech! And don't worry, I don't plan to "e-card" in the future, but for this year, please accept this image of the simple wish I wish for us all.
The card-pics above were going to be posted solo, but Christmas day and today have been a bit filled-up, contributing to a slightly new perspective on life:
T H I S - M O R N I N G
I went with my sister and saw her baby, via ultrasound. She's due early February. Heard and saw its tiny little heart beating. My sister looks great and is doing fine, as is the baby. The images are a bit bizarre but sweet, nonetheless. Recall the Rachel/Ross episode on 'Friends.'
Life, about to enter this world of ours.
L A S T - N I G H T
Just as we (Grandma and Grandaddy, both near 90yrs old, Mom and Dad, my sister, and me) had finished eating Christmas Dinner here in Atlanta, I had noticed from across the table that Grandaddy had his eyes closed, and I commented jokingly, "Hey Grandaddy, are ya taking a nap over Christmas dinner?" He naps all the time so the comment was really nothing. But when 'nothing' was his response even after someone else had asked him the same question again, I flew over to the other side of the table and held his hand and his head. Talked to him. Placed my hand near his nose and mouth and felt nothing. No breath. Then dad and I laid him down on the floor. My hand under his head. I kept talking with him. I remained upbeat in my voice even though Grandma was really frightened next to him, which made me frightened. At this point, he really wasn't with us. Kept talking to him, even though it felt like we had lost him. Then he began to mumble and respond to questions I asked him, especially relating to the nice dinner we had just had and presents we'd opened earlier that day. Then he began to come to. He looked at me and smiled. I asked him to say something to Grandma to reassure her, too. Then he asked what he was doing on the floor. I said, "oh you were just a little sleepy and started to 'take a nap' we thought you'd be more comfortable here." Then the EMT guys came in and Grandad said, "what's all this fuss for?" I said, "Well, you gave us a little scare, so they're just gonna check things out. Don't worry, we'll save cookies and leftovers for you." You know, once he began to speak of food and was smiling I knew he'd be alright. But what we later found out, was that his heart had in fact stopped last night.
One life coming in, early February.
One almost slipping quietly away from us, last night.
Our church had a very touching service the Sunday before I left for Atlanta. "Blue Christmas." I originally went to it more for the timing of the service than the focus of it. Geared to folks who had experienced loss this year. I had not experienced loss but was overcome with emotion that night, last Sunday, at how grateful I was for that fact. I've been blessed. And I was keenly aware of this. Everyone who came into this year with me was going out with me.
We're taking things a day at a time, but Grandaddy is stable today.
There is loss in the world. There is vibrant life in the world. Loss is a fairly easy concept to grasp, abstractly. But a bit tougher when it touches someone who's been a part of your life since the day you were born. I love my Grandparents very much, and there will be a day that they, you, and I won't be here anymore. Luckily for us, last night was not his time.
But what are we doing with our life till then?
While we're on this little earth, let's have a little peace. Make it a better place. Make some difference that we were once here. Pass something forward. Use your talents. Thank someone. Encourage someone. Share. Make a difference.
And by the way, it's 11:11.
12/30 UPDATE: He had a pacemaker put in yesterday at Emory.
He's now home and doing fine. Unbelievable.
PHOTO ©2008 Wendy Hudgins